Pain In The Memories
by BrokenForTheOrdinary
Summary: She normal didn't notice it... but tonight it burned like wildfire. Of course, it only did that when she had these memories. Rate to be Safe


For as long as Calleigh Duquesne could remember, she never truseted a male. There were a few, yes... but never did she date like a normal teenage girl. She never dressed to impress anyone of the opposite sex. She was to afraid that one glimpse of something and they would not stop with a look. Surprisingly, those men and boys that she did trust were like brothers or best friends. Never was there a eros attraction, instead a sense of pathos hung constantly in the air.

Tonight (a Friday, no less), she was lonely. Even at thirty two, Calleigh found it hard to date, hard to let such trust develop. She still feared that one glimpse that could turn a man into a monster. As she sat in loose pants and a tank, she found herself gazing, not into the future... but into the past.

_"Wait a minute!" A fifteen year old Calleigh stood with her hands on her hips in front of a seventeen year old male. She thought that she had befriended him, but in one night she would be proved wrong. "How can you complain! You weren't even there!" _

_"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked harshly. Mean... mean... it had meant what it sounded, nothing more-nothing less. "I SAID..." He raised his voice, repeating the phrase once more. Calleigh was still trying to comprehend how it had come this way. _

_"All I meant was... if you're going to complain, at least have the decency to show up at what you're complaining about." It must have come out worse than she expected it to, because in one fluid moment he raised his hand. _

_Any remaining trust she had in the male gender was torn apart when the high school ring struck the flesh under her chin, pulling a gash. Before she understood what had happened, another blow hit her eye..._

Yes, Calleigh declared aloud... "Yes... it was that." As if saying the words could make the pain disappear. She stood up and her blonde hair fell down to her waist line. She surveyed her small one bedroom apartment and then headed to bathroom. Once inside, she situated herself in the mirror and noticing the scar that ran down her chin. It was so faint to anyone else, but to her it burned like wildfire. Of course, that was only on these nights that she had these memories.

_As she watched his retreating figure, she knew there was a decision to make. Fight or flight. Run or attack. She was not used to this kind of physical abuse... _

_The young girl found herself running, hard and fast. Her legs took her to her safe house, her hide out. _

_Ruth and Jacob were always so kind. They welcomed her, and they loved to interact with her. She wished she could say the same of her own mother and father, but all the time she knew she was blessed for what she could get. That night there was full moon, intersected occasionally by stray clouds, as she knocked on the front door of Ruth's house._

_Calleigh was sure she looked terrible, sweaty and bloody from running and the wound. Her eye felt swollen and tender. But whatever condition she was in, that did not matter. Ruth opened the door, greeted her, and then pulled Calleigh into her arms._

_Slowly, Ruth cleaned up Calleigh's chin and eye. Then she called Jacob into the room and let the teenager tell them what had happened. _

_She explained the ordeal, but also that this had not been the first time the man had hurt her. No... the first time had been years ago... she was only seven or eight._

_Calleigh cried and finally slept... _

She found tears running down her eyes, but she turned around and continued playing the memory like a movie in her mind. She had found many times ago, this was the only way to get rid of the pain that came with the film.

_Sometime, it seemed in the middle of the night, Calleigh awoke with a night terror to find Ruth beside her on the couch. "Where's Jacob..." Calleigh whispered sleepily. Ruth nodded her head, whispered not to worry about it, and that it would be all right in the morning. _

_Later, the door opened and Calleigh could see Jacob kneeling down and whispering in Ruth's ear. She could only hear little parts thorugh her pretend sleep. "...he confessed... tried to... hospital... self defense... judge... no time... leave town.."_

_Ruth answered, "...said he tried to... oh dear... I suspect... no... be better off..." was all Calleigh could make out. _

_She decided it was best not to ask._

The hardest part of the memory, Calleigh knew, was when her mind wanted to fill in the blanks. She willed it not to... and sometimes it listened.

But sometimes it didn't.

_Jacob had gone to confront the man. When he confessed to his multiple crimes (abuse, crude acts...), he did so proudly proclaiming that the 'little blonde brat' was his and she desereved punishment. Jacob must have lost it, because the man ended up in the hospital. And in a fair trade between the two, Jacob would do no time, but the man would leave town._

_Calleigh didn't know if it worked..._

A knock came at the door of her apartment, and Calleigh jumped. She wiped her eyes and opened the front door, coming face to face with Horatio Caine. He could tell by her eyes, and the look on her face, that when she opened the door it was not him that she saw. She saw another man with red hair... one who hurt her and broke her trust. One who changed her so. He knew when she was remembering this; he had come to read her expressions.   
"It's okay..." He said quietly, reaching out to touch her arm and embrace her. "It's just me."

_Calleigh didn't know if it worked, but she knew one thing..._

She lay softly in his embrace, nesting her head in his suit jacket. "I'm sorry..." He whispered in her hair.

_She knew that she never saw her brother again. _


End file.
